It's just one of those days, maybe few days or so. Where I feel lifeless, like a piece of rock, just still and boring. Yes, I think I am a very boring person, I don't know what's my idea of FUN? I can't seem to understand why i like to plan things in my head, think of doing so many things, yet do nothing at all in the end. I end up being once again, lifeless in my room, reading an old book, checking my phone.
And then I see other people, and they're constantly occupied, doing their hair, trying out new things, experimenting on food and desserts, going for dinner and parties, just enjoying. Then I see me. In home clothes, bundled ugly hair and just doing nothing.
WHY? And it's one of those days where I feel so uncertain about myself; will I ever be good at anything I do? Maybe I am good at certain things, but I definitely won't ever be the best. And I worry about myself, if I'll ever be independent enough to do things on my own, to ever have a backbone to rely on. Growing up relying on others, resulted towards me being a coward, and someone who definitely cannot do certain things without help from others. With that, I always try not to trouble people to help me, and beat myself up by just avoiding anything at all. It frustrates me, it gets me all moody.
Then I spend my whole day, admiring others. And they're so much more prettier, and far more out-going, they upload videos of them dancing and singing, doing tutorials, they go out, they have good food, they dress up, they appreciate life, and I; just watch them.
Every time I plan to do anything, it gets messed up because why? I think of how troubling I will be.
Here I am, sitting in my room, typing, reading.
Same things I did when I was in school, same thing I'm doing now.
I have a rather boring life.
Saturday, 31 August 2013
Monday, 19 August 2013
The 'Fate' Journal - Part II
10/3/2012 (Saturday)
What a restless night! Double decker beds are horrible, especially when you don't get to sleep at the bottom and you're forced to sleep on top since the other beds are occupied... hmph. Still made it through the night, woke up and showered in dorm-like toilets, sharing with a bunch of other girls, euw.
For the first time ever I wore a pinafore, and I liked it! Usually I would wear baju kurung to school, so wearing a pinafore felt pretty cool. And it was compulsory for everyone to wear school uniform for the second day.
I went to have breakfast at the dining room and as I walked in, I spotted... him. Its him and his mates, again. Of course no one came up to say hi. I was quietly observing that guy on my own.
Why? Well, I really don't know why.. Ah, he probably forgot about the whole "challenge" last night.... sigh. :(
Wait.... Why am I expecting him to notice me? hmm.....
After lunch, everyone gathered at the hall. So happened they sat right in front of my friends and I. How distracting?! I couldn't even pay much attention towards the talk going on in front, as I was busy trying to catch a glimpse of him, that talented guy.
Next thing I knew was that I kept looking out for his presence. If I were somewhere in the dining hall or in a group game, I'd look out for him. Without making it to obvious, though. I wonder if he's doing the same...
Why am I so bothered about this guy? I'm not supposed to be like this, isn't it creepy? Well maybe, but people don't see what I'm thinking, it's just dialogues between my subconscious and I. ;)
It was night time and every group was busy rehearsing their performances. We had to come up with anything performance based - singing, dancing, acting, anything entertaining. Once everyone was ready, we had to draw lots on who's gonna get up that stage and perform for the crowd and the advisers, just for fun.
Other schools had on funny acts, some just did silly dancing that made everyone laugh like crazy. My school did what our school's famous for, cheerleading and fan-girling on One Direction. *No, I am not a crazy fan of them, the other girls were* Oh, and I also did a short Nicki Minaj 'Superbass' part too. Just to kill time, heh.
Once we were done and seated, was the Victorians turn.They performed an acoustic version of 'Hey Soul Sister', them being them, they managed to get the crowd hyped up. Me? I was just sitting down, observing.
Little did I knew, that the next performance was going to make me go nuts, performing 'Look at Me Now' by Chris Brown, Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne. And who rapped the crazily fast, awesome part? HE DID.
I was extremely dumbstruck, words couldn't come out of my mouth listening to him! Was that even real?! It was so good and all 'swagged up', awesome!
*By now everyone should know that, yes, I have a "thing" for talented guys.*
And right after that performance which blew my mind away, some "weird" feelings came along, and I was eager on getting to know him better. But how?
Later that night, the person in charged of music decided to entertain everyone with music and dancing, so that everyone could wind down. I love dancing so much, so my friends and I danced on our own, going crazy. Then I spotted him, dancing with his friends. Once again, I was shocked, he could break dance so well! Next thing I knew the boys from his school and the girls from my school started dancing together, and it was hilarious! But all I could see was him, trying to catch my eye. Gotcha! ;)
When everyone went back to their dorms, I was looking to see if he would appear anywhere near my dorm. At that night, strange things happened so the boys were in charge to look around, then I knew that he would pass by my dorm. Then I saw him, and my stomach did a back flip. Heheh. My friends wanted to go down to the canteen for a drink, so he (and his mates) volunteered to follow them to the canteen. At first I was reluctant and shy, then I thought, maybe I should give it a try. Try start a conversation. So I followed them.
"Hey, you can really sing well.." he said.
"*smiles* Your rapping skills are awesome too!"... and then the conversation went on and on, and we realized that our schools were quite near to each other, and that I was elder than he was, *just one year*, and we certainly knew we had a thing in common.
We both had a crush on each other.
That night, I couldn't sleep. Camp ends tomorrow, and I knew I had to do something about this funny fuzzy feeling, cause if I don't, it would slip away and it would just be like another random camp meet, where we go on having no proper contact, then we would start to find each other on Facebook, and go on from there, it just won't feel right. To me, the classic face to face meet is the real thing, real conversations counts the most, not the Facebook exchanging number way.
But, what if he doesn't even make the move to ask for my number or something? They should be the one who makes the move, right? I noticed that he was kind of shy. But, I liked it. I liked that he had that 'shy' thing in him, instead of arrogance and boldness.
I definitely didn't wanna come off as "desperate". Why do I feel like I need to do this? Like it's either I do it now, or it's nothing at all? I trust my instincts, therefore my challenge the next day was to get him to exchange numbers with me, whether he wants to talk to me later on or not, I don't know, but I felt like I had to do it!
Now, let's see what happens the next day....
What a restless night! Double decker beds are horrible, especially when you don't get to sleep at the bottom and you're forced to sleep on top since the other beds are occupied... hmph. Still made it through the night, woke up and showered in dorm-like toilets, sharing with a bunch of other girls, euw.
For the first time ever I wore a pinafore, and I liked it! Usually I would wear baju kurung to school, so wearing a pinafore felt pretty cool. And it was compulsory for everyone to wear school uniform for the second day.
I went to have breakfast at the dining room and as I walked in, I spotted... him. Its him and his mates, again. Of course no one came up to say hi. I was quietly observing that guy on my own.
Why? Well, I really don't know why.. Ah, he probably forgot about the whole "challenge" last night.... sigh. :(
Wait.... Why am I expecting him to notice me? hmm.....
After lunch, everyone gathered at the hall. So happened they sat right in front of my friends and I. How distracting?! I couldn't even pay much attention towards the talk going on in front, as I was busy trying to catch a glimpse of him, that talented guy.
Next thing I knew was that I kept looking out for his presence. If I were somewhere in the dining hall or in a group game, I'd look out for him. Without making it to obvious, though. I wonder if he's doing the same...
Why am I so bothered about this guy? I'm not supposed to be like this, isn't it creepy? Well maybe, but people don't see what I'm thinking, it's just dialogues between my subconscious and I. ;)
It was night time and every group was busy rehearsing their performances. We had to come up with anything performance based - singing, dancing, acting, anything entertaining. Once everyone was ready, we had to draw lots on who's gonna get up that stage and perform for the crowd and the advisers, just for fun.
Other schools had on funny acts, some just did silly dancing that made everyone laugh like crazy. My school did what our school's famous for, cheerleading and fan-girling on One Direction. *No, I am not a crazy fan of them, the other girls were* Oh, and I also did a short Nicki Minaj 'Superbass' part too. Just to kill time, heh.
Once we were done and seated, was the Victorians turn.They performed an acoustic version of 'Hey Soul Sister', them being them, they managed to get the crowd hyped up. Me? I was just sitting down, observing.
Little did I knew, that the next performance was going to make me go nuts, performing 'Look at Me Now' by Chris Brown, Busta Rhymes and Lil Wayne. And who rapped the crazily fast, awesome part? HE DID.
I was extremely dumbstruck, words couldn't come out of my mouth listening to him! Was that even real?! It was so good and all 'swagged up', awesome!
*By now everyone should know that, yes, I have a "thing" for talented guys.*
And right after that performance which blew my mind away, some "weird" feelings came along, and I was eager on getting to know him better. But how?
Later that night, the person in charged of music decided to entertain everyone with music and dancing, so that everyone could wind down. I love dancing so much, so my friends and I danced on our own, going crazy. Then I spotted him, dancing with his friends. Once again, I was shocked, he could break dance so well! Next thing I knew the boys from his school and the girls from my school started dancing together, and it was hilarious! But all I could see was him, trying to catch my eye. Gotcha! ;)
When everyone went back to their dorms, I was looking to see if he would appear anywhere near my dorm. At that night, strange things happened so the boys were in charge to look around, then I knew that he would pass by my dorm. Then I saw him, and my stomach did a back flip. Heheh. My friends wanted to go down to the canteen for a drink, so he (and his mates) volunteered to follow them to the canteen. At first I was reluctant and shy, then I thought, maybe I should give it a try. Try start a conversation. So I followed them.
"Hey, you can really sing well.." he said.
"*smiles* Your rapping skills are awesome too!"... and then the conversation went on and on, and we realized that our schools were quite near to each other, and that I was elder than he was, *just one year*, and we certainly knew we had a thing in common.
We both had a crush on each other.
That night, I couldn't sleep. Camp ends tomorrow, and I knew I had to do something about this funny fuzzy feeling, cause if I don't, it would slip away and it would just be like another random camp meet, where we go on having no proper contact, then we would start to find each other on Facebook, and go on from there, it just won't feel right. To me, the classic face to face meet is the real thing, real conversations counts the most, not the Facebook exchanging number way.
But, what if he doesn't even make the move to ask for my number or something? They should be the one who makes the move, right? I noticed that he was kind of shy. But, I liked it. I liked that he had that 'shy' thing in him, instead of arrogance and boldness.
I definitely didn't wanna come off as "desperate". Why do I feel like I need to do this? Like it's either I do it now, or it's nothing at all? I trust my instincts, therefore my challenge the next day was to get him to exchange numbers with me, whether he wants to talk to me later on or not, I don't know, but I felt like I had to do it!
Now, let's see what happens the next day....
Thursday, 15 August 2013
Get well soon :)
"We spend most of our time talking about nothing but I just want to let you know that all these nothings mean so much more to me than so many somethings."
Spent my wednesday & thursday with the person I share my thoughts, dreams, sad times and good times with, heheh.
Grumpy face (behind) and happy face (in front)
Peace! Why so moody?
Had to take some shots with the beautiful plants..
He's usually more smiley and cute and would be spoiling the photos with funny awkward faces. Heh.
But because you're feeling under the weather and sick, I'm dedicating this blog post... to you!. :)
Get well soon!
Oh and,
P/S; Of course I love you.
*I know I know, the next blog post was supposed to be 'The Fate Journal Part II', but do wait for it! It is after all about the person I'm dedicating this post to.... ;) *
Goodnight xx
Monday, 12 August 2013
The 'Fate' Journal - Part I
Date : 9/3/2012 (Friday)
It was a hot sunny Friday afternoon, school ended and I was thrilled to be attending Interact Camp for the first time. I couldn't make it the last year due to some cheerleading event. But then deep down in me I knew this wasn't going to be some kind of expedition camp where we have to sleep in tents and jungle track all night in the woods, I knew it was going to be fun and of course, lots of interacting. I was also afraid, afraid of meeting someone else...
The night before, I packed everything I could, including mosquito patches and sprays, (I do not like mosquitoes, who does?) enough clothes and of course enough under garments to last for 3 days and 2 nights. (9-11 March 2012) But the thought of having to go to school first thing in the morning was absolutely annoying.
Time flew, and next thing I knew I was boarding the bus with my friends, all in our Interact t-shirts, ready to go off to Port Dickson. I cannot lie, I was excited to meet new people there, but me being me, often thinking no ones gonna even want to talk to me, I'll stick to my friends instead... And just watch people. I'm an introvert, so it's difficult for me to approach people, unless it's for an assignment or work, I put on a more approachable face for that. If not, I rather always be on my own.
As soon as we reached, each of us had to register and put on tags with our names and group, then of to our dorms. We had to share a dorm with another school, SJKC Confucion Girls. They basically took most of the good beds and spots, so we had the not so nice beds. Pfft. The girls came were kind of annoying, but, that was okay, way better than camping in with mosquitoes!
Right after that, everyone had to gather at the hall. All seated with respected schools.. looking around. That's when a group of boys in blue, walked in front of all of us - yes to everyone's eyes it was that dramatic slow motion kind of entrance, to me it was like - OH THEM. Damn.
Who are they? Yes, the very famous VICTORIANS. An all boys school, known for their smart looking, buff and handsome, charming and serious style - admired by all school girls I supposed?
And they all say 'If you date a Victorian, you know you're one of them cool girls!'
REALLY? Well, I don't think so... I knew them. Not all of them, but some. Yes, I have to admit and I would not lie and say I don't admire the Victorians.. I do, no I did. At that time.. (And by that you should know something not so nice happened before) But I'd rather not talk about that as I would like to pretend that never happened - so I put on that 'I DON'T GIVE A DAMN FACE', and looked at them, and I looked at the other girls turning their heads, oh so annoying! How annoying...
They took their seats, and everyone calmed down, but still looking around, as usual, being teenagers, you must look out for hot guys/hot girls. Isn't it normal? Then, the programme started.. and it went on and on.
Night time, also known as Game time!
Fun silly games were held, that was the first time I played that game where you sit down on chairs and form a circle, leaning on the other persons waist/legs and they slowly start pulling out chairs one by one, eventually we're all counting on each other not to fall. Real fun and really challenging..
Then, mixed up with other schools, we had to form a line and sing 'Hero' & 'Heal the World' altogether. Interact Club is all about 'Peace through Service', and it's all about giving & charity.
I sat at the next row, but in the 5th seat. And there in front, sat a dude in a yellow tee, looking at me. I knew he was a Victorian, so I stared back at him... And eventually I turned my face somewhere else. That's what they always do. Look & stare. Then I thought 'Oh gosh, maybe I look so ugly - in this spectacles of mine, and long tied up hair, no make up whatsoever...shucks, he was probably thinking why this girl so ugly?'... Yup, my negativity overpowers. Ignoring it, I sang my heart out and continued the next game.
When it ended, everyone moved back to their dorms. Apparently, it's a tradition for all to come out of their dorms and mingle/interact with other schools and get to know each other. So everyone was scattered, finding friends and some just chilling, snacking on chips, talking away.. So my friends and I decided to sit outside and enjoy our own company, and it was really fun, just chilling....
Then out of nowhere, that same guy and his bunch of friends came up to us.
"Hey girls! We're from VI, what school are you all from?"
My face changed. But I remained silent and quiet, so as everyone was introducing everyone.. then one of them said..
"Okay, how about a challenge? We come up with something then, you all challenge us with whatever you'll come up with, see who's the best... OK?"
Knowing them I knew that they had something up their sleeves, probably some Bruno Mars wannabee around them, and of course, they knew they're gonna win it. Pfft..
So they went first. Suddenly, this guy raps, and everyone's amazed by his rapping skills, and I just listened intently... He was good, in fact, so good, and when I looked up, it was that same guy that looked at me in the hall earlier. I was a bit, in awe. He was too good for an amateur. So yes all his friends hyped him and praised him, he was good. I smiled a hint of 'not bad'...
Then "Okay girls, your turn."
All of my friends turned to me and shouted
"Arneesa! Sing!!! Come on Kimmy, sing sing sing!!"
I was shocked, come on, how embarrassing would it be if I went off pitch?
Oh god, in front of these obviously talented and show-off boys, why would I want to sing? But, I couldn't back out. So i was thinking of a song.. then I said...
"Okay, I'll do it. Rolling in the Deep by Adele. Just a short one."
I took a deep breath, and dare not face the boys..
I sang "There's a fire..starting in my heart..." it was going okay..
then it came to the chorus, *crossing fingers I won't tune out*
"We could've had it all!"
A loud sound of applause and shrieking to my disbelieve, came from the boys and my heart literally fell off! "Rolling in the Deeeeeep..You had my heart inside your hand, and you played it to the beat~"
I stopped. Everyone of them clapped and cheered, my face was so red I had to look down all the way. I was happy I did it well, but I was shocked to see the reaction coming from the other side.....
I guess they were impressed? ;) So that night, we got to know them better, but of course, I was often looking at that particular guy that rapped his song so good, I was impressed by him. But dare not make any further gesture or move to even say hi, yet...
That night, I smiled myself to sleep... Thinking that was fun, how's the next day gonna be like? :)
*Stay tuned for The 'Fate' Journal - Part II*
The Michelle's
So recently I have been watching a lot of this Youtube tutorial videos on how to do an updo, make up and stuff. I really admire Youtube-er's as they are really brave and courageous to film themselves live and posting it up to public... and why I say that? Is because I don't have that courage and braveness to ever upload a video on myself doing anything at all. Haha!
Anyhow, one main youtube queen that I've been recently inspired by is the very famous Michelle Phan. She's Vietnamese-American, a real beauty with a beautiful smile, who's now one of the most popular Youtube-er who's known all over the world, for make up tutorials.
At first, she had a personal blog which she discussed different makeup tutorials and received requests for further instructions. Then, people that viewed her blog noticed her beautiful makeup that she'd put on so they even requested her to do her own tutorials and how to do her personal makeup. Her ever famous makeup tutorial on "Lady Gaga's Pokerface & Bad Romance Look" became so popular it went viral and made her a youtube sensation, earning a million over subscribers. A Youtube Celebrity! How cool?!
Right after making it big as a Youtube sensation, Lancome made her their official video make up artist.
She even does tutorials on Skincare & Fashion. She is so beautiful that I can't take my eyes off her! (I'm straight guys.)
One thing that's admirable about her is that she knows what she's talking about. Some youtube-ers, they tend to get carried away and their tutorials are not as informative as we expect it to be. Michelle Phan explains whatever she's giving tutorial on so well, that makes it easier to understand. Beauty with brains!
Over the years, her video quality and production has improved so much - she inserts drama and skits in her tutorials and videos, that makes her really creative. Oh did I mention, she draws really well too!
Check her out guys. She's something ;)
http://www.youtube.com/user/MichellePhan
As you can see, this blog post title has an apostrophe and an S behind the name Michelle. So most definitely there's gonna be about TWO of them isn't it? Yup! Maybe three..
It was the first day I met my course mates and we awkwardly sat all in a class room, being college students, everyone tends to be friendlier in some sort of way, not as bad as schooling days where the first day would be like you're a total alien, no friends approaching you, and you don't even want to approach anyone!
So everywhere you go, the first thing you do is the "Ice Breaking" Session. The lecturer in charge asked us: "Tell me your name and what's your greatest fear" Rather interesting isn't it? Instead of "Tell me your name and where do you live".. Hahah.
So it went on and on.. everyone saying out their names and their greatest fear. Then it came to this girl's turn. She wore a black snap back and a white tee, she had really thick and long hair, fair pale skin and bracers. She's a head-turner.
She said "My name is Michelle Leong, and my biggest fear are PIMPLES."
HAHAHAHAH! What a great answer isn't? It is true, and she looked like the kind of person that's scared of zits popping out of her face kinda girl. (That's a good thing)
We instantly clicked on the first day of college, she's really beautiful and yes she talks a lot. She often uses hand gestures when she speaks. I don't know if anyone notices it but, I sort of do. She's the kind of girl that dresses very Hipster-ish and Rock-ish, often wearing her combat boots/ platformed boots, and snap backs, all those studded accessories and studded sandals. She became so popular for her snap backs - especially on the IACT Confession page. Every dude knows Michelle Leong. Right? Hahah.
At first I never thought that Michelle would be the friend I would share stories with, share dinner or whatever we're eating with together, joke around on silly things and not getting offended, most importantly I am willing to take criticism from her, because she's the kind of person that does not take sides. She would take time to listen to both sides, irregardless on what or whom, she would take time to listen and calm the situation down.
There was one time she was the only one who was willing to stay back with me for dinner, that was when I realized she's such an open minded person, that had her own personal stories that she shared with me, and I appreciate that she did so, because I know she isn't the kind of person who would randomly blurt out on herself.
So then I knew I could place my trust in her, and I was hoping she would too. I enjoy listening to her funny stories about boys and how she wishes to have a steady relationship, despite being so in love with G-Dragon from Big Bang... How crazy she would go when someone mentions Chatime, or bubble tea, and I love drawing fake tattoo's on her arms (No, I just love scribbling stuff on you, heh) and what color she'd like to dye her hair next, I also like listening to her bad taste in men with scruffy facial hair & old, old men. (Euw) but I love her awesome taste in music that's much similar to mine, oh and I can tolerate her 24/7 singing-to-everything habit.
I've been in college for more than a month now, done with the first semester and all I can say is, out of everything I've been through, throughout this entire new journey is that you will learn to be wiser at handling presentations and college assignments, to be more careful with the people you mix with, unless you're a total douche who would prioritize other things instead of important things. Sad to say but there are some people who does that. And not just do that, but complain about others who takes more action towards completing a task.
And when I start going on and on, ranting about all these negative nonsense, is when Michelle steps in, reminding me to not give a damn about it and just be happy!
So thank you babe, I hope to have a long lasting friendship with you.
Oh and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Last but not least, the girl that plays Rachel Berry on Glee, and the girl that's supposed to marry Cory Monteith and be his wife, Lea Michelle.
She's a great singer with a booming voice, but now scarred with a broken heart, on the death of boyfriend and co-star Cory Monteith a.k.a Finn Hudson. He passed away recently due to drugs and alcohol abuse. I just don't understand why some people would destroy their lives and worst, destroy the lives of their loved ones, just to be involve with drugs and alcohol. What do you see and what good does it bring to die of it? Nothing. I am a huge fan of Glee, I've been watching it and following them eversince Glee Season 1. The death of course shocked me and the world, but the most saddening part is to see what Lea Michelle has to go through, enduring sadness and grief on the person she cared for the most. It's something magical really, when two total strangers from two different worlds, meet out of nowhere and instantly become friends, and from being friends, it blossoms into a beautiful relationship that eventually leads to marrying each other. Not everyone in this world gets that beautiful opportunity, and I am happy and thankful to say that I am one of the chosen ones who's blessed enough to have that 'something magical'.
And so did Cory & Lea Michelle. So it saddens me think, what if it happened to me? What if I am placed in Lea's shoes? Would I be able to handle it as gracefully as she did? I don't know really. It scares me. It somehow made me realize how blessed I am to have met someone who would do anything in the world for me, and of course, how much I admire Lea Michelle's tough heart.
Her acceptance speech for the Teen's Choice Awards 2013 moved me to tears. It's really sad, how she delivered her speech in that shaky tone of voice that's just about to burst into another sad cry, and yet remain so smiley and thankful to the fans.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc6OOddDtKE&feature=share) - Teen Choice Awards 2013 (Lea Michelle's Acceptance Speech)
I hope Lea Michelle would continue to embrace this beautifully, and hopefully have the will power to keep holding on. She's a tough cookie.
Anyhow, one main youtube queen that I've been recently inspired by is the very famous Michelle Phan. She's Vietnamese-American, a real beauty with a beautiful smile, who's now one of the most popular Youtube-er who's known all over the world, for make up tutorials.
At first, she had a personal blog which she discussed different makeup tutorials and received requests for further instructions. Then, people that viewed her blog noticed her beautiful makeup that she'd put on so they even requested her to do her own tutorials and how to do her personal makeup. Her ever famous makeup tutorial on "Lady Gaga's Pokerface & Bad Romance Look" became so popular it went viral and made her a youtube sensation, earning a million over subscribers. A Youtube Celebrity! How cool?!
Right after making it big as a Youtube sensation, Lancome made her their official video make up artist.
She even does tutorials on Skincare & Fashion. She is so beautiful that I can't take my eyes off her! (I'm straight guys.)
One thing that's admirable about her is that she knows what she's talking about. Some youtube-ers, they tend to get carried away and their tutorials are not as informative as we expect it to be. Michelle Phan explains whatever she's giving tutorial on so well, that makes it easier to understand. Beauty with brains!
Over the years, her video quality and production has improved so much - she inserts drama and skits in her tutorials and videos, that makes her really creative. Oh did I mention, she draws really well too!
Check her out guys. She's something ;)
http://www.youtube.com/user/MichellePhan
Michelle Phan - gorgeous!
As you can see, this blog post title has an apostrophe and an S behind the name Michelle. So most definitely there's gonna be about TWO of them isn't it? Yup! Maybe three..
It was the first day I met my course mates and we awkwardly sat all in a class room, being college students, everyone tends to be friendlier in some sort of way, not as bad as schooling days where the first day would be like you're a total alien, no friends approaching you, and you don't even want to approach anyone!
So everywhere you go, the first thing you do is the "Ice Breaking" Session. The lecturer in charge asked us: "Tell me your name and what's your greatest fear" Rather interesting isn't it? Instead of "Tell me your name and where do you live".. Hahah.
So it went on and on.. everyone saying out their names and their greatest fear. Then it came to this girl's turn. She wore a black snap back and a white tee, she had really thick and long hair, fair pale skin and bracers. She's a head-turner.
She said "My name is Michelle Leong, and my biggest fear are PIMPLES."
HAHAHAHAH! What a great answer isn't? It is true, and she looked like the kind of person that's scared of zits popping out of her face kinda girl. (That's a good thing)
We instantly clicked on the first day of college, she's really beautiful and yes she talks a lot. She often uses hand gestures when she speaks. I don't know if anyone notices it but, I sort of do. She's the kind of girl that dresses very Hipster-ish and Rock-ish, often wearing her combat boots/ platformed boots, and snap backs, all those studded accessories and studded sandals. She became so popular for her snap backs - especially on the IACT Confession page. Every dude knows Michelle Leong. Right? Hahah.
At first I never thought that Michelle would be the friend I would share stories with, share dinner or whatever we're eating with together, joke around on silly things and not getting offended, most importantly I am willing to take criticism from her, because she's the kind of person that does not take sides. She would take time to listen to both sides, irregardless on what or whom, she would take time to listen and calm the situation down.
There was one time she was the only one who was willing to stay back with me for dinner, that was when I realized she's such an open minded person, that had her own personal stories that she shared with me, and I appreciate that she did so, because I know she isn't the kind of person who would randomly blurt out on herself.
So then I knew I could place my trust in her, and I was hoping she would too. I enjoy listening to her funny stories about boys and how she wishes to have a steady relationship, despite being so in love with G-Dragon from Big Bang... How crazy she would go when someone mentions Chatime, or bubble tea, and I love drawing fake tattoo's on her arms (No, I just love scribbling stuff on you, heh) and what color she'd like to dye her hair next, I also like listening to her bad taste in men with scruffy facial hair & old, old men. (Euw) but I love her awesome taste in music that's much similar to mine, oh and I can tolerate her 24/7 singing-to-everything habit.
I've been in college for more than a month now, done with the first semester and all I can say is, out of everything I've been through, throughout this entire new journey is that you will learn to be wiser at handling presentations and college assignments, to be more careful with the people you mix with, unless you're a total douche who would prioritize other things instead of important things. Sad to say but there are some people who does that. And not just do that, but complain about others who takes more action towards completing a task.
And when I start going on and on, ranting about all these negative nonsense, is when Michelle steps in, reminding me to not give a damn about it and just be happy!
So thank you babe, I hope to have a long lasting friendship with you.
Oh and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
The beeeeautiful Michelle Leong Kah Kay
Last but not least, the girl that plays Rachel Berry on Glee, and the girl that's supposed to marry Cory Monteith and be his wife, Lea Michelle.
She's a great singer with a booming voice, but now scarred with a broken heart, on the death of boyfriend and co-star Cory Monteith a.k.a Finn Hudson. He passed away recently due to drugs and alcohol abuse. I just don't understand why some people would destroy their lives and worst, destroy the lives of their loved ones, just to be involve with drugs and alcohol. What do you see and what good does it bring to die of it? Nothing. I am a huge fan of Glee, I've been watching it and following them eversince Glee Season 1. The death of course shocked me and the world, but the most saddening part is to see what Lea Michelle has to go through, enduring sadness and grief on the person she cared for the most. It's something magical really, when two total strangers from two different worlds, meet out of nowhere and instantly become friends, and from being friends, it blossoms into a beautiful relationship that eventually leads to marrying each other. Not everyone in this world gets that beautiful opportunity, and I am happy and thankful to say that I am one of the chosen ones who's blessed enough to have that 'something magical'.
And so did Cory & Lea Michelle. So it saddens me think, what if it happened to me? What if I am placed in Lea's shoes? Would I be able to handle it as gracefully as she did? I don't know really. It scares me. It somehow made me realize how blessed I am to have met someone who would do anything in the world for me, and of course, how much I admire Lea Michelle's tough heart.
Her acceptance speech for the Teen's Choice Awards 2013 moved me to tears. It's really sad, how she delivered her speech in that shaky tone of voice that's just about to burst into another sad cry, and yet remain so smiley and thankful to the fans.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wc6OOddDtKE&feature=share) - Teen Choice Awards 2013 (Lea Michelle's Acceptance Speech)
I hope Lea Michelle would continue to embrace this beautifully, and hopefully have the will power to keep holding on. She's a tough cookie.
Lea Michelle & Cory Monteith together, :(
RIP, Cory.
RIP, Cory.
Saturday, 10 August 2013
Fasting & Raya '13
First of all I would like to wish everyone Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri! Hope everyone's enjoying their holidays and appreciating precious time to be with loved ones.
This year, I am truly blessed to say that my Raya celebration's one of the best I've had so far. Of course it started of first with having the will power to fast and complete the holy month of Ramadhan smoothly, even though there had be times it was difficult to handle, the thirst and how weak my knees would get especially at crucial hours like 5-6pm, that's when I start getting all lethargic, constantly looking at the time.. I have to say, fasting is not something thats easy to go through, to those who go around saying 'Oh no it's not hard at all, okay only..' Come on, are you for reals?
Anyway, I'm happy to say Raya went absolutely well this year, and for the first time ever I decided to invite a large group of friends over, it was so fun and such a wonderful feeling, hosting and providing good food for
them, that's what celebration's all about isn't it? Getting together and sharing precious moments..
Oh and yeah, my friends are awesome. Worth being invited, thanks for coming and making my Raya complete guys & dolls!
A picture of them at my house.
Family's always family. Good or bad, moody or not, we stick together. Even though we had some complications on certain things and people, we still made it and made Raya happen. Truly blessed to have my beautiful Mummy, for her sense of responsibility, her dedication and hardwork towards making Raya for my siblings and I a joyful event.
Mummy and I
Thanks to my lovely siblings, for the jokes and laughter, for being friends.
And also, my partner-in-crime and the person that stood by me since I met him, my boyfriend. :)
Monday, 5 August 2013
A loooong Biography
So lame, but yeah. I guess I would like people to know me better.
Name: Arneesa Kimberly Mohamad Najee.
Often referred as; Arneesa, Ansa, Neesa, Kim, Kimmy, Kimberly, Asha, Ashakim, Kimkimkimmy. (LOL)
*People often pronounce my name as Ar'NESS'a, even though it's spelled Ar'NEE'sa. (They even change the original spelling as if they're what, my parents?) Well, I get totally annoyed if my name's pronounced wrongly. So yeah, it's ARNEESA KIMBERLY okay? Oh and, KIMBERLEY. REALLY?! How can you go wrong spelling KIMBERLY? At least that's what my college ID refers me as. -___-
Birth date: 30th October 1995. Year of the Pig, a Scorpio. PERFECT EH? heh, kidding.
Age: Seventeen turning Eighteen, soon.
Hobbies: 1) Dancing - it's in my blood, it's in my soul. Take me to a club/party/event with music, and I'll tell you to go drink and get yourself into trouble cause, I JUST WANNA DANCE! I cannot lie and say 'Oh no..please, I can't dance really....' No. It's the truth and I'm blessed that I can dance, thanks to my genes of course, both my parents are real good dancers. (Dancers for fun they are...)
Besides random dancing, I've been into various types of dances through out my entire life. My first ever public appearance (cheh) dancing was when I was in kindergarten (Wesley Methodist), an Indian dance, partnered with a Chinese oh-so-cute fellow. After that, in primary I was always that student/girl you would often see performing for events. (how annoying?) But those were normal, school-like based choreography by awesome teachers (that I remember so well, thanks for all your dedication) that made me continue dancing as a hobby.
In high-school (Pudu Girls School) was when it got real. My sister insisted that I joined this club society called 'Kesenian & Kebudayaan'. I could only go through and be part of the club if I auditioned. And so I did, that's where and when I learned the basic art of Malay Traditional 'Zapin'. I'm a quick learner, so I picked it up fast and graceful enough to make it in. Little did I know it was one of the most popular society that has made it so far, outstanding performances with absolutely talented seniors (as I was only form 1 at the time), competitions that made it to Peringkat Negeri & Wilayah. I was absolutely amazed and excited, that was when I grew so fond and in love with cultural dances from all races.
That club thought me the art of dancing, the art of teamwork and body movement, making a stiff-body absolutely graceful. Because the art of dancing cultural is something that amazed me so much, it changed the person I am. I eat, breathe, sleep, wake up - DANCE. I loved it, and I'm so proud of my achievements & memories.
I would love to thank my dearest family, for always being there to support me through out the best times of my life. Thank you.
2) Music & Singing - So my parents discovered my singing talent when I was at about age 4. Even before that, I was already hinting to them that I love music, as I would intently listen and shake my head or that bell anklet I wore would rattle away. Most of my photo albums consists of me and a microphone. And up till now, I'm still as fond as I was over a microphone. I grew up having karaoke nights with my family. Every time I sang a song, both my parents would criticize and correct my singing, and yes, I would get so frustrated over it, which would make me try and try, over again till they get satisfied. Now, that really paid of, all those small little practising. In primary teachers found out that I could sing well when I joined the 'Nasyid' team, till I earned a Solo part, then at high school, I did not let anyone know about my talent, till a small class to class competition came up and I won it, singing 'Ku Ada Kamu' by Adira. After that, I reached to the point where I was offered by the Minister of cultural arts and society of Wilayah Persekutuan to join the team Malaysian team of cultural performing (KEKWA), Truly blessed, but I did not accept the offer as I was focusing on my studies.
My parents. They knew I had it in me - growing up with a Music Man, my father is the biggest inspiration of all time. Ask me about music from the 80's, I can tell you anything. Some people get shocked and go like - how does she know Spandau Ballet's Gold? and, Level 42's Something About You? Which 18 year old at this age knows these songs by heart? It's me. I do. I'm thankful for the knowledge of music in me.
My mom told me when she was pregnant, she used to put headphones over her belly.
I guess that helped, being the music jukebox & little song machine I am now. :)
3) Reading & Writing - LOVE LOVE LOVE. English was and always will be my favourite subject, though I have to say I am still learning, there are still so many words I ought to learn.. still so many books for me to read & get inspired. When I read and write is when I find inner-peace.
Need I say more? I said it all in my first post. Heheh.
4) Photo's & the art of it. - I am definitely an ARTSY person. I see things through art. I like taking photo's and arranging my room furniture, constantly capturing moments. I know a beautiful and worth capturing moment when I see one. I love camera's and how it's made. I love being the person who is in charge of pictures for family events, then at the end of the event, making everyone sit in front of the TV and go through the captured moments together. I like taking pictures of my Mom's cooking cause it's absolutely divine - worth sharing. I love capturing funny moments - it's precious and it's wonderful.
5) Fashion, Converse & All that G' Thang. - When I was much younger, honestly I have to say I sucked at dressing up. My fashion sense was quite ugly I have to say. One fine day my dad insisted he changed my wardrobe and got me a pair of RED CONVERSE. Ever since then, I saw fashion in a different way. Me being me, comfort is way, way more important than beauty. I prefer whatever I'm wearing to be comfy, rather than gorgeous but painful. That pair of Red Converse changed my life. Thanks Papa. :)
Make up, yes I love it. Though I try minimalizing my make up nowadays, I still love make-up. I remember how I would stand next to my mom, admiring her beauty and all her products, sometimes secretly (maybe curiously) opening her make up box, and seeing it like it's a box full of fun magic. There was a time when I thought that make up can make me look the person I am not, I thought it would make me look even more beautiful. Then as I started growing up, becoming more matured, I realized that I do not need to apply thick eye shadow's of many layers, and a thick dap of blusher, all I need is my SPF 50+, a little bit of powder, a touch of blusher, a hint of mascara & eyeliner - and I'm done. Simplicity at it's best. My inspiring Mom would be why I cut down on make up, she constantly reminds me to nurture and take care of my bronze-toned skin. And I believe her, that it would benefit me as I grow elder. :)
6) Puppies, Dogs & Puppies again. - Unconditional Love. I mean, come on! Those faces? You get it.
That's it I guess. Oh!
Current Status : Taken.
;)
Greetings & Inspirations
Hello Sunshine's & Hipsteroo's!
Greetings from me, Arneesa Kimberly Najee, Kimmy for short. (I am physically short, too.)
An eighteen year old girl (not there yet though). Only turning 18 when the clock strikes 12.00, date 30th October. Yes, I am a Scorpio & a Halloween Baby. Don't mess with me, nah, kidding.
To be honest, I've had this blog for quite sometime. I edited it and made it come to life, but never really executed it.
So what triggered the 'writer' in me?
Inspirations?
There are a few. First of all being the most recent inspiration, COLLEGE.
I am currently a student, doing Mass Communication at IACT College.
One thing about this small community college is that, EVERYONE, and by everyone I really mean EVERYONE, has their own specialties, (even the lecturers).
If it's not singing, it's beat boxing. If it's not drawing, it's the presentation skills, if it's not dancing, it's playing instruments, if it's not photography, it's volleyball and darts, if it's not video-directing, it's acting. If it's not coming up with cool events, it's writing. And the list goes on and on....
When it comes to Blogging, I have a few of them that I really look up to. I've been truly inspired by my Seniors, Nia Leah & Carmen Frances Yang. Reading their blog makes me happy and how they put their words together, totally admirable.
Everyone's absolutely talented & gifted, inspiring really. They're bunch of gifted guys & dolls.
I am proud to be an IACT-ian.
Next, MY LOVE FOR BOOKS.
Fat books, skinny books, magazines, storybooks, (not much a fan of textbooks though, still...) BOOKS.
I just love books, the smell of it, and how bookshops & libraries just make me feel secured, happy. The place where my imagination runs wild, the place where I find comfort, tranquillity at it's best.
With all that creepiness of expressing my love for books, that's where I found out not that I love books so much (as you can see), I also love writing. Expressing feelings through words sometimes has a more satisfying feel to it. And just like everyone else, I wanna blog too! :)
Last but not least, OHANA.
The people I love the most, though they drive me crazy at times, it's worth going all nuts because they are nothing but absolute awesomeness. I grew up with two very young and hip parents, both absolutely different in their own way, three wonderful siblings, (wonderful describes the arguing, blaming and making fun of each other, too.) They are the people that know me inside & out. They are the ones that saw my potentials and all flaws, and brought me to be who I am today.
I am blessed for all inspirations, blessed for all the knowledge that has been bestowed upon me.
And as each day passes, I learn more, grow more, see more.
Now, need I say more? Just. Truly. Inspiring.
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